2023 highlight & lowlight reels

Ciao 2024!

Highlights of 2023

1. Lots of traveling! Traveled to Tassajara w my dear sangha, saw my high school & college second family, spent time in soho New York, aaaand for the first time travelled out of the country in 7 years: Canada (Toronto), China (Zhuhai, Guangzhou, Nanchang, Hangzhou, Shanghai), Hong Kong
2. Started living with Q and loving it
3. Read 20+ books
4. Watched a lot of movies. To name a few that left a strong impression: The Matrix, Harry Potter, 水书物语, 双瞳, Annihilation
5. Watched lots of shows but only liked Beef. Rewatched Arcane
6. Journaled plenty and published 26 blog posts
7. Joined a new team at work and enjoying it
8. Started establishing a workout routine
9. Bought a small rental property and found so far so good tenants
10. Working with Mark and had some more insight into the nature of my anxiety issues
11. Most important thing is I realized joy can be unlimited, the boundaries of joy can keep expanding as long as you allow it to. I shared this sentiment here.
12. Saw a lot of different humans and their different lifestyles, no longer letting so much online chatter get my attention, loving the real people around me instead. 见了越来越多人类样本，不再爱网上的讨论，更爱具体的人。

Books I enjoyed in 2023, and my commentaries

Spark by John Ratey	Compiled the scientific evidence of the benefits of exercise on brain development, including depression, ADHD, anxiety, stress and aging. Completely sold me to establish an exercise routine.
The power of habit by Charles Duhigg	Just reading it doesn’t help me change my undesirable habits. However I was impressed by a few real life examples in there, including how Starbucks trains their employees to build habits and give mature responses to difficult customers.
倾城之恋 by 张爱玲	可能和《心经》并列为我最爱的张爱玲小说。写法，结构和白流苏的人物塑造都是一流。写出了当时的女性无法求爱，只能求生的系统性困境。她对大家族的描写现在看来都不过时。很多时候，人活得是为别人口里的名声，而不是活出自我和自在。
遥远的救世主by 豆豆	这本书好是好，但没有吹得那么神。好在于它揭露了文化属性对人的影响，并用一个音响商战的例子揭露了不同文化属性的人对同一件事的不同认知和反应。坏在于一个女作家写于21世纪的书，笔下处处都是对女人的成见，可又塑造了三个有勇有谋的女性形象，书里的女性角色又比一些男性角色更有见识和勇气。让读者的阅读体验有些矛盾。
Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow	An epic detailing the life events of Alexander Hamilton, which is also a great record of the big events in the history of founding America. Only criticism is it’s a bit too verbose.
Rewire your anxious brain by Catherine Pittman and Elizabeth Karle	Love this book hands down. Very helpful and practical in explaining two anxiety pathways: through the amygdala vs through the cortex, and how to alleviate them using different means. Great pairing with my work with Mark. Fun fact: the two authors are both women and also a couple!
Writing down the bones by Natalie Goldberg	Found this book in the library Inryu Sensei inherited and transported from Dairyu. This book invoked my interest in writing and solidified my belief that writing makes life more meaningful. Fun fact: the author is a sangha member and also a Soto Zen practitioner
Nonviolent communication by Marshall B Rosenberg	An all-time classic. The principle seems straight forward enough: observation, feelings, needs and request. However I couldn’t completely immerse myself in the book. Maybe because the book is too much preach, and I don’t react well to preach?
Crooked cucumber by David Chadwick	A biography of Shunryu Suzuki Roshi, the man who brought Soto Zen from Japan to America. Funny how such an important man on the mind of countless soto zen practitioners was just a very ordinary priest in Japan, no one special. I loved that Suzuki was down to earth, not fooled by big words or grand gestures, and had the courage to start a new life in America in his 50s. However, he was not a family man, and always put buddhism before his family. This book definitely brings him down the pedestal.
Finding the mother tree by Suzanne Simard	The author who discovered trees are social creatures and mother trees watch over their seedlings and give them nutrients. A strong proof that trees are sentient beings. Suzanne has the heart, the mind and the soul to pursue her life’s work. She is also an excellent doctoral advisor. I thought her personal life was pretty interesting, having had two children with a man and divorced, and realized she was lesbian and married a female partner. Amazing story of surviving breast cancer too, although this part was not the main story in the book.
The unbearable lightness of being by Milan Kundera	This is a book with rather polarizing reviews, but I absolutely love it. It’s not so much fiction, but more so a philosophical book taking the shape of fiction. Kundera shows readers his philosophical thoughts through the lives of his characters. It talks about the core paradoxes of this human existence.
Rich dad poor dad by Robert Kiyosaki	A self-help and personal finance classic for a reason. I enjoyed it, and it challenges the belief so many people hold about money. Instead of working for money and saving it in a bank, it teaches me to work for learning and earn money by having more assets than liabilities and positive cash flow. The ending chapter feels a bit wishy-washy though.
当我谈跑步时我谈些什么 by 村上春树	村上也许不算最杰出的小说家之一，但一定是最稳定和高产的小说家之一。常年跑马拉松也训练了他的耐力和高度集中的智力。很喜欢这本书。
Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse	Beautiful language, a short and sweet prose about Siddhartha Gautama’s life. However it’s a bit overrated, and doesn’t talk about important parts of Siddhartha’s life such as how his mother died giving birth to him and he was raised by his aunt. I enjoyed the ending chapters about Siddhartha spending time with the ferryman and listening to the river. The ferryman is the true wise man of the story.
Bliss Montage by Ling Ma	Very enjoyable collection of short stories that includes a bit of surrealism and randomness. The structure of Peking Duck is quite genius.
Sex and the forbidden zone by Peter Rutter	A very informative book that discusses the psyche of men in position of power having sex with their female disciples. Unfortunately it’s a very common phenomenon. This is a difficult book to read because it can be quite triggering. However it’s important to read because it goes deep into the psyche of such men who exploit the trust of their female disciples, and women who go along with it or think they consent to it. It also teaches a great lesson about maintaining boundaries. I appreciated the first person accounts included in this book. Some psychological analyses seem to go a bit overboard.
红玫瑰与白玫瑰 by 张爱玲	文笔很美，人物塑造很经典。但总体无感，不如倾城之恋成熟。
小团圆 by 张爱玲	我非常喜欢也非常欣赏的一本书，重复读了四五遍。这书属于私人呓语，写法和杜拉斯的情人有点像，都非常意识流，且情感能量巨大。记忆就是这样的，一会跳脱到若干年后，某某某干了啥啥啥，一会又回溯到若干年前，童年里最初的记忆。 阅读体验好像在看舞台剧，聚光灯一会闪到这个人物头上，一会闪到那个头上， 爱玲有时是台下的观众，有时是在舞台剧中央的表演者，穿梭于这些来来往往的记忆之间。 谈到和胡兰成那段臭名昭著的爱情，形容是“金色的永生”，谁还敢说她爱得不值？
Forbidden by Tabitha Suzuma	A very interesting theme discussing incestuous love between blood related brother and sister, however not written very well. Character development is not compelling.
苍茫时分 by 山口百惠	记录了山口百惠的原生家庭，以及她和三浦友和是怎么走到一起的，还有一些零散的游记和随笔。在书的结尾，当她说，“我是风中之子山口百惠，无论未来带来什么我都毫不惧怕，将迎风面对”时，被她深深打动了。 书的情节和语言都很简单，但有强大的精神力量。Not a book for the mind but a book for the soul.

There were two books I did not enjoy: Yellow Face by R. F. Kuang and After I Do by Taylor Jenkins Reid. Yellow Face has an intriguing premise but it’s not well written. The main character doesn’t feel like a real person, but rather a creation of the author’s stereotypes. The whole book reads like a Twitter or Reddit thread. I couldn’t bear to finish it.

After I Do also has an interesting premise. I can’t say it’s not well written, I liked the portrayal of family in the book, but it never addresses the core conflicts and incompatibilities of the main characters. I feel it’s sugar coating the core problems of their relationship. Would not read again.

Lowlights of 2023

Lost my front tooth by biting hard into a fork accidentally.

Heard a lot of negative family drama when I went back to China. A very toxic family dynamic. The sad thing is I see this pattern of thought passing down to the second generation.

Have a lot of complicated feelings towards my dad after learning a few more things about him. 

Still feeling a bit unsettled about my experience at an HSBC branch.